He is really quite amazing! Look here to meet Oscar and see what he can do - He is always with me - today he is stretching himself out so thin and covering my arms and body and holding me down on a chair. He is stretched over my face so the air that I breathe in is used up and brings me no fresh energy. But he is thinned out, so there is just an ache and a heaviness all over. When I walk, he clings to the floor with each step so it takes a lot of effort to move about the room. Stairs - it is almost impossible, as he grabs the walls and railings and fights me every step. Once I make it down or up, he will contract to one or two spots and increase suction there to show his displeasure. Everywhere he touches me drains out energy and causes pain.
Somedays he is quite polite - he finds a little space and curls up and sleeps quietly. He can change colors and move about quickly. I find it hardest to get along with him when he grabs my head and neck, turns bright red and squeezes oh, so hard.
I used to fight with him all the time- I didn't like having an octopus, I didn't ask for one to come and live on me all the time, and I wanted him gone!! But the more I fought him, the more he would climb onto my face, force me to stare into his eyes, and I could see little else of life.
Now, for the most part, we have made peace. I know he is there all the time, but mostly I can look at other things, and sometimes, when I am in the right frame of mind, I know that God has given me Oscar for some reason, and I love my Father. I trust in God to know what I need to become a better person. I trust in Him to help me carry Oscar. And by realizing that a loving Heavenly Father has chosen Oscar to be my octopus, sometimes I can love Oscar.
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